Making Friends As You Get Older Is So Damn Hard But The Good Ones Are Worth It

I've never been the person with a lot of friends, but I've learned to open up to the right people as each year passes by.
I've been able to count my ride-or-dies on one hand ever since I can remember. It has always been a matter of quality over quantity, but you can't help but wonder if you've closed yourself off too much to let new people in. Of course I've made some great friends along the way, but there's a difference between liking and loving.

It's just like a relationship, and I'm not here to settle.

There's always been a certain unease about how few people I could trust and be my true self with, but it's never really bothered me until I got older. It used to be a breeze sitting next to people in school, finding things in common, then automatically becoming buddies because you saw each other each and every single day. Truth be told, I think I was equating time spent with them as their genuine investment in our friendship. I was growing up, it was okay, and I was making friends. But shit, even then it wasn't that easy for me, and it's ten times harder now.

Turns out you can't always make friends by striking up a simple conversation — you've gotta work for it.

Along the way I've learned what I look for in my relationship with people, mostly because I did some soul-searching of my own and became aware of the relationship I had with myself. But that wasn't enough to sustain a true link. I had to put in effort, and my friends did too. It was a two way street, and you'll quickly realize who's willing to meet you halfway and who isn't. Everyone has their own unique formula to making things work. I  also stopped feeling guilty for letting other connections fade away because I was invested in the healthy bonds I was forming — and it felt so good.

I'm surrounded by beautiful and brilliant people, what more could I ask for?

I want to continue meeting genuine, hilarious, and amazing people that I vibe with. People who have great energy about them. People like Pranith and Chase (pictured above). I know I could be doing so much more to meet new folks and develop long-lasting friendships, but I'm focused on really nurturing the ones I have right now.

I'm really fucking lucky.

I need to remind myself how fortunate I am to have the people that I do in my life. My OG friends have stood the test of time, but my new friends have reminded me that it's not impossible to open your heart to something/someone new and let that blossom.

It's a work in progress and I'm going to give it my all as I move forward. Thank you to all of my friends who've shown me what matters and helped me understand what I'm looking for.

I guess this is growing up.